Preseason Week 4: @ Jacksonville

The fourth and final preseason week is here, and thank God it’s almost time for things to matter. I’m going to keep it short and sweet today, so here it goes. Jacksonville is not a particularly exciting city, and I don’t count anyone among their 347 fans a friend, so I don’t have anyone to really talk trash with. Tonight’s not even a glorified tune-up, with guys like Portis, Haynesworth, Fletcher, and the like showing up in street clothes, or not even making the trip at all. Tonight is about the final three or four roster spots that are up for grabs. Here’s what to watch for:

• Marko Mitchell not completely surrendering the fifth and final receiver spot.
• Whether Marcus Mason can prove to be valuable enough to keep as a fourth HB.
• What linemen get a roster spot (glares at Mike Williams, who probably will, albeit undeservingly).
• Who can lock down the fourth/fifth corner spots between Kevin Barnes (here’s hoping), Byron Westbrook and Justin “I can’t cover my leftover brownies with tinfoil let alone an NFL fourth-stringer” Tryon. I bet you can guess who I hope gets cut.

Try not to freak out flipping between the first round of college football games and this matchup, and I won’t fault you for switching for good at halftime. However, just be aware that Dan Snyder might just find a way to sue your ass if you don’t watch the whole game. Preseason is part of the package if you didn’t already know!

Preseason Week 3: New England

Preseason week three…if any preseason game means jack, it’s this one. Starters typically play at least a half and should be putting in the final tweaks to prepare for the regular season. I’ll be up in Landover again tonight, and there are a few things I’m looking for…

• Please don’t rain again. Misha and I stuck it out for the full game last week, and it was a soaked mess. I’d rather NOT sit in the rain again tonight.
• Jason Campbell HAS to show some accuracy and it has to be beyond the first down marker. It seems that Campbell has earned the reputation of a guy that can’t hit receivers downfield, and only completed over 60% of his passes last year because of check-downs. That’s a fair assessment right now. Campbell missed on two long ball shots last week (underestimating Malcolm Kelly’s speed, apparently…) and really didn’t contribute anything significant. This is his last true tune up if he doesn’t want to get worked in week 4. We should all pray that we don’t need to see more of him next week.
• Running Back competition: Dorsey or Mason…who steps up with Rock out of the lineup? This is their big audition.
• What can Albert Haynesworth do in a XXXL jersey? He complained that he couldn’t breathe well last week which is why he took fewer snaps. Let’s hope they made the jersey big enough this time so we can see #92 eat Mr. Butt Chin Brady for dinner.
• Thomas, Kelly, and Mitchell, can continue to inspire optimism, and will one of them take a step beyond Randle El and become the #2 guy? That would be ideal.
• The big grudge match of Daniel vs. Brennan will be one to watch, although the competition is overhyped/overvalued.
• Finally, can Brian Orakpo continue to impress? He’s gotten nothing but praise since he donned the burgundy and gold. Let’s see him pull some Osi Umenyiora moves on that New England line tonight.

I’m excited that I don’t have to deal with any Pittsburghers this week, as well as taking two of my teacher friends (although one is a Pats fan). It should be a good time. The only thing I can think of to give New England crap about is the fact that they cheated their way to their rings. Joe Gibbs would have never done that. I will always hate Bill Belichick for the way he ran the score up on ole Joe just to be a dick...oh and New England had about 1400 real fans before 2001. They were AT BEST third in the pecking order (behind the f*ckin' saaawxxxxx and the Celtics) until Tom Brady came around, so not many people from New England can claim that they're long-time dedicated fans. Oh and I hate them because Matt Wallace is a bandwagon fan and I like to see him suffer. That's right Matt...I hope butt chin breaks his leg tonight, just so I can be there to see it.

All that hate is in partial jest. It's just a preseason game, so let’s just hope the offense can look polished and the defense can continue to look dominant. A win would be nice, but isn't the be-all, end-all tonight.

Redskins 27
Patriots 24

Come on back for tomorrow...fun thoughts from the mini-feed and a recap.

Preseason Week 2: Pittsburgh

Tonight marks my first trek back to Fed Ex Field since the 2003 Dallas game, where the Redskins were shellacked 27-0 in a driving freezing rain. That was the last game before college and before we gave up our season tickets, but now I have them back. Nosebleed, Section 414, Row 16, Seats 7 and 8. I couldn’t be more pumped about a preseason game, just because I love going to see the Redskins live more than almost anything. Tonight is also the true debut of my good buddy Doug Roberts as a member of the Washington Redskins marching band, so if you’re in attendance tonight, make sure to yell for that cool kid playing the trombone. Congrats Doug!

Alright, down to business…the defending world champion Pittsburgh Steelers come to town in a game many people could care less about, but it was only 9 months ago when we all had to endure the Terrible Towel debacle on Monday Night Football. As many of you know, my sister married into a Pittsburgh family, and my generalizations about the city of Pittsburgh and their teams do not apply to my brother-in-law. He’s never been an ass about how successful Pittsburgh has been in recent years when it comes to just about anything football or hockey. However, beyond the family ties, Pittsburgh fans REALLY piss me off. Not only is the DMV populated by millions of transplants from Western Pennsylvania, but they all love to tell you how DC is such a shithole and how Pittsburghers are far more loyal and vastly superior in every way to someone from this area (we’ll refer to this complex as Pittsburgh Transplant Syndrome OR PTS). Here are some of the things that REALLY piss me off about ‘burghers when a Washington vs. Pittsburgh game comes up on the schedule:

1. There are more Northern Virginia-raised kids that I can count that have managed to find some reason to be Steelers fans: a la “my family’s from there” or “my best friends mom’s dog was born there”…you get the point…it’s all bullshit. They all find the need to fly their black and gold allegiances and tell you how much DC teams suck, even though they were born and raised around here.

2. Their fans not only show up to away games, but they show up in DROVES and all seem to suffer from PTS AND Diarrhea of the mouth. Neither of these make for fun conversation in the stands.

3. Speaking of conversation, every one with a Pittsburgher ends in some sort of put down about how ugly Alex Ovechkin is (or how he doesn’t backcheck or kiss Gary Bettman’s ass like Crosby), how they have twice as many Super Bowl victories as us, or how the traffic around this area blows (to which they contribute significantly) . Fans from every city have their shtick arguments, but I just tend to hear the one from Pittsburgh more than any other.

4. Their goddamned towels that go everywhere...and Dan Snyder finds the need to copy…and are obnoxious.

5. That stupid guy in the pink polo shirt (and a popped collar) at the Caps/Oilers game last February who heckled Ovi the whole game for all of the items mentioned in #3. Get a life and watch a game where your team is actually involved.

6. The word yinz, which doesn’t make any freaking sense and should never be used in any context EVER.

7. Their quarterback has two Super Bowl rings, but apparently he doesn't know what hockey team plays in their city.

Ok, deep breaths. I’m really pumped about the game tonight, but I don’t want to listen to Pittsburgh fans. That’s the gist. As far as the game, it looks as though we’ll get to see Albert Haynesworth and Clinton Portis, and the starters could see about a quarter and a half of play. Here are a few things to keep an eye on:

· Haynesworth’s disruptiveness: It’s only preseason, but keep an eye on how many snaps Haynesworth gets and what he does with them. Additionally, look to see how his presence affects the pass rush and how long the Steeler have to hold onto the football.

· Portis’s health: Let’s see how hard Clinton hits the hole tonight. Everyone knows his feelings on preseason, but he didn’t look healthy at the end of last year, and he needs to have fresh legs to start this season. Although he hasn’t hit 30 yet, he’s got enough wear on his tires to run like someone older, so it will be interesting to see if he can keep his play up to his high standards.

· Orakpo’s development: How will #98 perform in his second live-action setting? He seemed to settle in pretty well against Baltimore, and really has potential to be a star in Greg Blache’s defense. If he can perform well again tonight, the town is really going to start some buzz about him.

· Nickel corner: Who won’t shit the bed this week against Pittsburgh’s receivers? I see Justin Tryon getting absolutely shredded by Limas Sweed tonight.

· Fred Davis’s hands: Will Fred hit that snooze button again tonight? The fumbles have to stop.

· Points: The offense HAS to put up something, or Jim Zorn is really going to hear it. Two shutouts in a row won’t go over well…especially if I have to sit out in the rain to watch this game.

I think that’s everything. I’ll be back with a recap tomorrow morning.

Prediction:
Redskins 23
Steelers 16

Preseason Week 1: @ Baltimore

Ok, so who likes the Ravens anyway? I know it’s only preseason, but I can’t stand the bastards and I want to see a Redskins victory tonight. If I ever see another Ed Reed turnover/touchdown, it will be too soon. Here are a few things to look for (or not look for) tonight when our guys kick off the preseason…sweeeeeeeeeeet:

• Look for lots of defense. The Ravens are notorious for having not only a good defense, but a lot of defensive depth. The ‘Skins have done quite a bit of retooling, and seem to have added some pretty good, young depth as well. Both defenses should determine the tempo tonight, and whichever one wins the turnover battle will probably win the game.
• Speaking of young depth, keep an eye on a few lesser-knowns. Brian Orakpo is an obvious choice to watch for tonight, but look for guys like Kevin Barnes, Jeremy Jarmon, Justin Tryon, and Keith Eloi to try and show their stuff tonight. Tryon has been working with Darrell Green in the offseason and must have a strong preseason to keep his roster spot. Let see if #28 rubbed off on him at all.
• Don’t look for many big names, at least for the Redskins. If they are in there, don’t look for more than two series, but we already know that $100 million man Albert Haynesworth won’t play, as well as some vets like Randy Thomas and Santana Moss. I’m sure Clinton Portis will be kept on the sidelines kicking and screaming as well.
• We’ll see the first taste of Colt vs. Daniel vs. Collins. Brennan lives for the preseason right now, and has a good opportunity to show that he can be the no. 2 behind Jason Campbell. We really haven’t seen much of Collins since the ’07 playoffs, and coaches speak highly of Daniel, so it will be interesting to see how each one performs in their first action this year.
• Watch for the much maligned 2008 second round picks. Devin Thomas has been limited with a hamstring and Malcolm Kelly with a knee, but each have gotten better reviews this year when on the practice field. Combined with Fred Davis, let’s see how they show up in a game situation tonight.

I know it’s ridiculous to be this excited about a preseason game, but it’s football, and football means entertainment. I can’t wait.

My Prediction:

Redskins 13
Ravens 10