Week Six: God I Hate Matt Ryan

Can we please just fast forward to tomorrow at noon? How I hate thee, Boston College. Let me count the ways:

1. Doug Flutie. Doug Flutie. Doug Flutie.


2. Matt Ryan and his stupid pass to win a game that they didn't deserve.


3. Matt Ryan for having a good first season in the NFL. I hope he breaks his leg this year. Nice Champs Sports Bowl ring, joke.


4. Jeff Jagodzinski. Nice unemployment check, joke.


5. Rich Gunnell. Is this dude in his seventh year? He always seems to do something against us.


6. Brenden Hill for dancing to Sweet Caroline while down by 20. Wait...


7. Their stupid 27 "superfans" that wear those awful yellow T-shirts. Decide on a secondary color idiots.


8. Steve Aponovicious. If I hear an announcer call this kid Sid Vicious one more time, someone is getting suplexed.


9. They're from Boston. Say your 'r's.


10. They have "history" in their program, but they're in no way historical.

I need help from our home viewers out there. Over/Under on how many times they show/refer to the Hail Mary pass AND the lucky play from '07: 7. Please let me know how this shakes out, as I'll be in the stands, screaming my face off. I'll miss Doc Walker on Raycom soooo much (vomit). Luckily, we're right behind the opposing bench this week, so the BC chumps might actually be able to make out what I'm saying. Whether what I yell is discernable by a human, sober ear is another question in and of itself.

I hear that BC has a good pass defense and a 92-year-old freshman quarterback that did OK against Northeastern...I think. I don't care. Apparently #2 is a pretty solid back, averaging 4.7 YPC. I don't care. The Hokies should be spitting mad on Saturday morning. Bud Foster should sacrifice a fatted calf and paint his players' faces with the blood. Bryan Stinespring should continue to stay out of Tyrod Taylor's way. This game is huge...believe me, but it's a game that the Hokies SHOULD win handily. They should be ready to prove the doubters wrong, and tune up for Georgia Tech. The crowd will be charged, even for a noon game, and Tech has lost the last three regular season matchups against BC.

Channel the 2005 Defense:

Hokies 31
Eagles 10

Bonus pick of the week: Josh Oglesby goes for his first 100 yard game, Tyrod throws for <>

Let's Go.

Week Five: Spankin' Dook

There isn't a whole lot to say about this one today. There's a reason why it's 8:09 AM and I'm just now posting about the matchup. Tech has no business losing this game. Even in a down year, Duke should be a cakewalk. The stadium will be full of Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange, and the Blue Devils just don't have the size, speed or depth to hang with the Hokies. Their offensive line is atrocious, and their quarterback situation is unsettled. Tech is rolling with momentum from de-pantsing Miamuh. However, this is a team that only gave up one touchdown to the Hokie offense last season, and their defense is improved. Time for Stiney to prove he can churn out a week-to-week performance. Here's what to watch for:

• Jason Worilds' sack total. As I said, their O-line is horrendous, and he should be Thad's buddy most of the afternoon.
• A big play from Cody Grimm. He deserves it. Maybe he can tie up Matt Reidy for career touchdowns this week.
• Tyrod's completion percentage and overall efficiency mixing the pass and the run. He needs to show he can do what he did last week on a regular basis too.
• David Wilson's rushing yards. He should give Ryan Williams a good amount of rest this week to prep for a FAR better Boston College defense.

I disagree on the blocked kick notion that everyone else is going with this week, but I am calling a Dyrell or Jayron return deep into Duke territory or a touchdown. Hokies take it in a shutout (feels like it's been too long since that happened).

Hokies 37
Dook 0

Week Four: It's About To Get Heavy

Here's the deal guys...I've been bombarded all week with talk about how the Hokies have no shot on Saturday. There is absolutely no way that they even deserve to step on the same field against the mighty Hurricanes, let alone put up a fight. Don't get me wrong...there is a distinct possibility (and probably always is with Bryan Stinespring at the helm) that the Hokies won't be able to put up any offense against the Canes. Hell, the defense has been spotty at best, which we all know is out of character for the Lunchpail Crew. However, I am not about to throw in the towel on a Thursday morning with Miami packing their bags for a trip to Southwest Virginia.

This is my rationale. There have not been many times that Tech has folded in the last 10 or so years under Frank Beamer, and I can probably argue that only one of those times came against Miami (2005). The only real flops that jump to mind were against an experienced LSU team (2007), Boston College (2006) with big-head Glennon at the helm, and in a complete letdown against FSU (2005). Three of those games were effectively on the road (FSU was "neutral" in Jacksonville), and two of those games saw Marcus Vick, one of the worst leaders (and people) in Tech history at the helm. Even in losses against premier opponents (I know, I know, we've lost basically all of these games), we've hung tough (2004 USC, 2004 Auburn, 2009 Alabama, 2007 BC). I just don't believe that Beamer is going to lead that group out to slaughter on Saturday afternoon. Although there's a high likelyhood that the Hokies will lose, I'm guessing it's still worth it to show up (read: stinkeye to Miami fans).

Here's why I'm giving Tech a legitimate shot to win this game (some of these may surprise you):

• The Home Crowd- Jacory Harris probably won't even be able to hear his favorite Miley Cyrus song floating through his brain in Lane Stadium, let alone what play he's running. Hell, it will probably be so loud that the noise will prevent him from feeling the pee trickling down his leg. Good luck working in that environment Mr. '9 - 9 = 1.'


• The Return of Beamerball- While I don't believe it's been really warranted over the last few years, Beamerball is back, and it's about to block a kick. I've mentioned this before, but now that Dyrell Roberts and Jayron Hosley have proven themselves to be dynamic kick returners, teams will have to either run normal coverage to stop them, or run max protection and pray they don't get burned. Either way, the Hokies have been close to several blocks already, and I don't expect Miami to run max protection all game. They don't want to give a dynamic guy an opportunity to reverse field on them.


• Miami Runs Man Coverage- Kyle Tucker touched on this yesterday, but Tyrod played relatively well against Miami's D last season, and ran for two touchdowns (and had a guaranteed 70 yard touchdown pass dropped by Dyrell Roberts). If his legs can buy him extra time, and he can keep his confidence up, he should be able to generate at least a little sporatic offense, if not better.


• Josh Oglesby's fresh legs- Ryan Williams keeps getting the press, but Oglesby's great at picking up tough first downs, which the Hokies will need against a tough Miami line. Their ability to throw three good backs at the Canes should help in the second half. Especially to help out the Hokie D with TOP.


• Stephan Virgil will be back- Virgil is our best cover corner, and Foster seems to think he's 100%. He's also one of our top 3 tacklers (as far as ability). If he has a good game, he sets up guys like Cody Grimm and Jason Worilds to get to Harris and wreak a little havok, something which is distinctly possible. Worilds will be lining up against Miami's least experienced lineman, which makes for a favorible matchup.

I'm not going to give you any more Cane love, because we got enough of it from Tom on Tuesday. Yes, Miami has the athletes. Yes, they have confidence, and a legitimate offensive coordinator. No, their egos are not in check. This Hokie team, to put it into hockey terms, has a lot of sandpaper to them. They've got guts and grit, and that goes a long way toward winning. They might not come out on top on Saturday, but I certainly think they'll make a dogfight of it. That being said, I still like the boys in Maroon to prove everyone wrong as home underdogs. Remember Clemson in 2006? This will be a similar game (with a better showing from Miami), and I think it might be JO's coming out party. Let's do this thing.

Hokies 19
Miami 17

Channel the spirit of the 2004 ACC Champs:

Week 2: St. Louis

Don't have a ton to say about this one. This preview isn't really going to involve the Rams because...well...they're completely awful. The only way the Redskins lose this game is if the act like the Redskins and choke it away (I'm glaring at you Pete Kendall). Here's what the burgundy and gold needs to accomplish to get some confidence back today.

• Win the battle in the trenches. Chris Long is a joke. Mow him over Chris Samuels. Clinton needs to rush for 125+ today. Campbell needs time to throw and make said throws.
• Get some separation on the outside. Yes, we all know Cooley is reliable, but you have to throw to your receivers (and not just ARE) to be successful in the NFL. Campbell must establish a rhythm with Moss and Kelly today.
• Get pressure on Mark Bulger. At least 3 sacks for some confidence, and I think we need to see at least one from Orakpo, so I can finally start calling him Osackpo.
• Decent play calling. Jim Zorn, like last year's opener couldn't call the game to save his life. Maybe there's just something about the Meadowlands...or Tom Coughlin. Or he isn't all that good against good defenses...We must do better than the standard "run-run-pass-punt," and not only resort to the standard Randle El option pass. It's awful and he never knows what to do with the ball. Everyone in the stadium knows what's coming when you call it, so why would the defense be faked out? Call something else JZ.

This game comes down to focus and talent. The Redskins should have the latter, but the former has been called into question. The Redskins will either lose by a field goal, or win by 20. Unfortunately my brain is telling me it's the first. Skins struggle...Campbell starts to hear the boo birds.

Redskins 21
Rams 17

Week 1: @ New York Giants

First of all, Eli Manning is not worth $100 million. Second of all, I hate that New York is the team we struggle the most with in the NFC East. Here are the keys to the game for both teams. I’d make this longer but I’m too jacked for football to be productive today.

The Giants will win if…

• Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw control the tempo of the game. Albert Haynesworth called out Jacobs earlier in the week, and that’s a large man to make angry. If Big Al can’t back up his talk, the Giants could have a big day on the ground. If that happens, the Skins don’t have a shot.
• They rattle Jason Campbell early and often. The offensive line WILL struggle against Osi Umenyiora, Justin Tuck and co., but if it’s before they establish a tempo, they’re in deep.
• They find some receivers. They’re young, but I personally think New York’s receiving corps has some serious potential. Whether or not they show it today is big. If they don’t scare the Redskins secondary, Blache will bring the heat all day long.

The Redskins will win if…

• They force Eli Manning to beat them. Stopping Brandon Jacobs (as mentioned before) is HUGE. I honestly think Eli doesn’t like having to win games, and he doesn’t have any Tyree Miracles, or Plexiglass to save him on the roster this year. That will allow the Redskins to control field position and time of possession.
• Clinton Portis has a big day. Jim Zorn MUST be able to set up play action against such a strong pass rush. The Giants are tops, and you have to keep them guessing. Consequently, the line must gel and be able to consistently get some push up front, which won’t be easy.
• Malcolm Kelly emerges as a viable #2. His size is invaluable, and if he gets hot, we’ll see Cooley catch a lot more balls, which is never a bad thing. If either Kelly or Cooley finds the end zone this afternoon, I like our chances.

In recent years the Giants have been a terrible matchup for us. We finally seem to have added the right parts to put up a bigger fight against them. Whether that turns into a ‘W’ is a big question. Opening up the season in East Rutherford is never easy, and I don’t expect it to be today, but I think they might surprise us a little bit with their competitiveness and tenacity. We MUST hit them in the mouth and send a message. Let’s kick this thing off right.

Redskins 17
Giants 16

Week Two: The Third-Best Program in West Virginia

I had to take that shot…just had to. Of course #2 is WVU, and #1 is Shepherd University. No fake. At least Shepherd wouldn’t have lost to Pitt in 2007. ZING! Low blow number two. But in all seriousness, this is the second week in a row that we’re playing a program with a rich history and national championships…1-AA National Championships…in the 90s. Marshall has an all-world wide receiver in Randy Moss…he’s gone? Ok, they have a great quarterback in Chad Pennington…he’s gone too? What? Byron Leftwich was there last time they were relevant. Is he gone too? Damn this is going to be a boring preview.

Alright…kidding aside, our Hokies enter Lane Stadium with bruised bodies and bloodied egos on Saturday afternoon. Alabama is the past. We have lock it up and move forward. Like the pain of USC 2004, Miami 2005, Georgia 2006, or LSU 2007, this game will continue to sting, but we must learn from it and move forward. Luckily we have a week to take a breath and beat up on the little guy. That’s just enough time to give Bryan Stinespring false confidence and then choke against Nebraska. Here are the keys to the game.

If the Thundering Turds expect to win, they must…

• Force turnovers early and often. The only chance they have is to make the Hokies play catch up early, which isn’t their strong suit.
• Learn how to defend the pass too. While Tyrod and Co. were close to abysmal statistically last weekend, they should be able to get the ball moving against a triple digit defensive backfield. At least a little bit.
• Pray to all that is holy that Merryman Center collapses before the Hokies enter the tunnel for Sandman. We are not UVA, and we haven’t lost to an opponent this bad in over 10 years.

If the Hokies expect to win, they must…

• Regain a little defensive confidence. Kam Chancellor must take this game to fix whatever calls he effed up in the Alabama game, because if he misses assignments against Miami, Jacory Harris will torch his ass. THIS is the game to fix the schematic problems.
• Run the damn ball. And by that I mean DOMINATE Marshall’s defensive front. They expect 8 or 9 in the box this week, but they still need to figure out a way to churn out consistent yards. I’d like to see ~200 yards to gain some confidence.
• Pass the damn ball. To the receivers…often. We have to prove that we can stretch the field for guys like Taylor and Williams to run the ball. Xavier Boyce needs to finally decide whether he wants to show up for his first collegiate game, because I certainly haven’t seen him yet.

It’s Marshall. I’m not going to break down all the stats, and even though they have a decent run defense, their defensive backfield is abysmal. They gave up 28 points to freaking Southern Illinois. They only scored 31. Ouch. If we can’t get it done against them…well…hello, Music City Bowl. There are no more excuses, and there should be no more throwing players under the bus. If the Hokies cannot move the ball on Saturday, it’s a serious play calling and preparation issue, which I put on the shoulders of the offensive coordinator. Expect Bud’s boys to come out fired up and get at least three turnovers (and at least two Worilds sacks). Don’t expect the offense to show, but don’t be shocked if they make a quick appearance.

Please God, let’s score some points.

Hokies 37
Turds 3

Last Week's Poll: Atlantic Up For Grabs

So where did last week’s poll get us (I know, I know…it was a “two-weeks-ago” poll)? Not very far other than to say what we’ve all thought since FSU lost its powerhouse status. The Atlantic division is 100% up-for-grabs, and it seems that you readers are torn about a favorite as well. Each team earned two votes, except for NC State (0) and Wake Forest (1), so according to you all, any team has a shot at the ACCCG birth. While I agree that this group has no clear favorite, I disagree that NC State should have less votes than Maryland or Clemson. Maryland is an EXTREMELY young team, while talented, will have a steep learning curve if they expect to compete at a high level this season. Clemson has a darkhorse Heisman candidate in CJ Spiller and a strong defense, but they are unsettled at QB and their O-Line was a huge problem for them last season. On the other hand, NC State returns their quarterback and a pretty decent defense, and should improve on their 7-6 record in 2008. Boston College doesn’t seem to have enough pop on defense after losing BJ Raji (NFL) and Mark Herzlich (cancer). They have a 26-year-old freshman quarterback and a new coach. Don’t look for them to make a third December trip to the championship game. If I had to put money on it, I’d throw it at old favorite FSU, with Christian Ponder returning under center and an overall experienced and tenacious group on the other side of the ball.

Next Week’s Poll: Who will lead the Hokies in rushing for 2009 (considering Darren Evan’s ACL injury)?